There’s nothing too complicated about it. It’s like a game and like any other game, the objective is deceptively simple: to do well. Play fair. Perform your best. Most people find it puzzling as to how I can even enjoy it. There is some difficulty in giving a satisfactory answer, primarily because they refuse to even stop to reflect on how school is in fact more beneficial than not to us (no matter how shitty the system is, but it isn’t like they have solutions anyway). Beneficial, not perfect. I know of many who love school because of their schoolmates and certain teachers. But of course, that’s only natural for the average sociable student. However I derive much more of my joy from other aspects and the one people find to be most peculiar is the fundamental role of a student – not to simply mingle and learn – but the responsibilities and workload (yes work).
I have always enjoyed being given tasks to do, however often I procrastinate and painfully take hours to complete a couple of essays. Whenever the teacher gives my class homework, I exude more happiness than all the happiness in the classroom from my classmates combined. Of course I often try to hide it. Though there are some which I view as an obstacle to whatever I am trying to achieve for the day (which is, usually, perfecting the art of doing nothing). I just need to feel busy, to keep my mind occupied.
I am, however, not a nerd. Your average female nerd (or budak skema) is the goody-two-shoes, studious missy, probably with bespectacled squinty eyes. Always burying her nose in a book at every turn and obedient, what the Malays say to be lurus bendul. As far as I know, I don’t intend to wear glasses any time soon and I find it very difficult to read in the classroom. To boot, I am actually a little amoral. Really. No joke. It just so happens that I am really good at concealing all the lies and murders deception.
I don’t break the rules on purpose because I appreciate order. I also adhere to them most of the time out of respect for the teachers. Most teachers have well-earned my respect for them, judging from the effort they put into their professional performance and how they dress. The Indian teachers in my school dress well, sometimes even better than the headmistress. All the past headmistresses have never had a good sense of fashion and I have seen a good number of headmistresses in my time. I could never wrap my head around that. Back to school rules – I have a feeling that fellow schoolmates might pick up a nasty vibe from my tendency to follow the rules but I shrug that off easily. Rebellion has a time and place, and the last place I would like to display it is at school during a time of immaturity. I’ve seen enough of morons flouting the rules for the sake of it anyway.
This may be a little cliched, but I see high school as a platform for me to expand my horizons, no matter how much narrow-mindedness I am subject to at this point of time. Even a menial task like giving out Taekwondo registration forms to a dozen of classes is seen as an opportunity to practise my verbal skills. Trudging up the stairs to the highest floor where my class is is really a boost to my daily physical activity. Assignments in high school ready me for the shit I may face in a few years’ time. I realize that my ideas and way of thinking may come across as really annoyingly optimistic, but I find it a relief compared to the seldom seen cynic in me.
